Spare Me Over 'Til
by sausuge
Summary: "This isn't personal, darling, it's just... Bobby Singer is not to be touched."  drabbles involving Bobby and Crowley; can be read as friendship, enemyship, slash, or maybe it's all of the above with them.


**Title: **Spare Me Over 'Til**  
><strong>**Pairing: **Ambiguous Gen, with a slashy after-taste  
><strong>Characters:<strong> Bobby, Crowley  
><strong>Rating:<strong> K+  
><strong>Word Count:<strong> 550  
><strong>Warning: <strong>non-vital spoiler for 7x03  
><strong>Summary:<strong> "This isn't personal, darling, it's just... Bobby Singer is _not to be touched_."  
><strong>Author's Note: <strong>So, I decided to catch up on Supernatural, which I haven't watched since the season four premiere… I'm currently halfway through season 6 and… I mean, of all the things I could have shipped (Destiel, Sabriel, Wincest, etc) I ended up really, really, obscenely falling for Bobby/Crowley… I think I just have a thing for cranky old men being cranky together? Idkidk but I like it~

So, here have 10 drabbles about them, not necessarily slash; well, no more that Canon Crowley makes them. They are all only dialogue based. Also, the 9th drabble is referring to Doctor Who, and 7x03 "The Girl Next Door". Title from "Oh Death" by Jen Titus.

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><p>Oh, my poor little darling. This isn't personal, it really isn't. It's just that the… <em>memo<em> hasn't really had the chance to get around yet:

Bobby Singer is _not to be touched._

888

You look dashing, luv.

Bite me.

Any time.

888

Why are you helpin' me? If I recall correctly I'm the one who tried to fry your skirted corpse.

It's a _kilt_, you uneducated swine. And Bobby, Bobby, Bobby… you are far more than that.

Oh yeah?

You're the one who got away.

888

You _can't be serious_.

You heard me. I'll help you out with this as soon as you take a swig of my rot-gut.

What. Why? How could that possibly be a bargaining chip for you?

Don't you worry your stupid little head about that. Just take a shot already, wouldja, ya big baby?

I will regret this, I'm sure of it already.

888

_Singer._ Get out of that _goddamn room_ right this instant or I will LEVEL THIS PLACE.

Nope. I'm not comin' out 'til you calm down.

You can't stay in there forever!

I've got plenty a food and water stocked up, I'll definitely outlast your puny attention span.

What about your god-forsaken 'liquor'? How much of that did you stock up, hmm?

…

That's what I thought. I'll be waiting, _Robert._

Balls.

888

What are you doing here? Are you insane, you pathetic, flimsy meat bag? They will incinerate you as soon as they realize you're here.

Well then you better shut yer trap before they overhear your bitchin', idjit.

I do not "_bitch"_, I bemoan eloquently.

Oh, you'll be "moanin'" when I get you outta here and I've shown you what I think of the damn King of Hell gettin' trapped by a coupla lowly angels.

Oh Bobby! Promises, promises...

N-No, I didn't mean it like- I meant- I-… damn it, Crowley.

888

What'd you mean when you said I had the wrong bargaining chip? Was there a right one?

If there's one thing I've learned in my time, it's that there's always a 'right' bargaining chip, luv.

Was it your w-

_Careful, _Robert.

…How'd she die?

Let's just say, I've always admired your perseverance Bobby Singer.

888

Why is it that Sam gets the pretty Demon girl, Dean gets the puppy Angel boy, and I get goddamn _you_?

Oh, Bobby dear, I think you've got your nouns all mixed up. _I've_ got _you_.

Says the man cooking me apple shortbread.

Shut it.

888

See what's brilliant about it is that she's _so Scottish_. Feisty and fabulous, I'm actually quite proud of her. Maybe I should go check out this "Karen Gillan".

Believe me, you're doin' enough "checkin' out" from here.

Oh don't be jealous, dearest. It's not like there's a _real _Amy Pond.

Hrrm…

888

Look, all I need is for you to shazam around and get me some fox glove, duck feet, and "blood of a fool".

But what if I can't find the Winchesters?

Ha ha, very funny. Just go get the stuff before I decide to add some _holy _ingredients to your next glass of fancy liquor, alright, _querida_?

"Querida"? You do realize I understand Spanish right? _Demon_ here. We're pretty well versed in _Latin_, remember?

I'm not _stupid_, ya damn idgit, now git!

… "shazam around"?

Damn it.

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><p>Also I really, really love the thought of Crowley being a little domestic with Bobby… even if it gives Bobby the hibby-jibbys. :)<p> 


End file.
